Brent Alexander

serving up perspective //

smashing the doubt

Tag: Empowerment

Discover posts tagged with Empowerment—explore stories focused on building confidence and overcoming obstacles on and off the court.

My Pickleball Journey from 3.0 to 3.5 and Beyond

When I first picked up a pickleball paddle in 2021, all I knew about it came from friends and the internet. Back in 2021, the sport didn’t have the country in the chokehold it does today. Despite its historically low profile, all of the stereotypes rang true in my mind: Isn’t that a silly game for retired geriatrics? It’s not an athletic sport! And it certainly wouldn’t be any fun… right? Right?

The Rising Popularity of Pickleball and The Evolution of the Game

Boy, was I wrong. And I certainly didn’t expect it to hook me the way it did. The sport has changed dramatically since its rise in popularity just in a few short years. Today the sport is played by a greater variety of demographics; it’s faster, more competitive, and more exciting than ever.

This is partly due to improved paddle and ball technology, but it’s also an inevitable adaptation of athletic playing style and the human pursuit of peak performance: Faster + Stronger = Better!

Mental Resilience Reigns Supreme

But accomplishment on the court is not dominated by speed and power. It’s much more dimensional than that. At its core, pickleball is a game of nuance and variety. The heart of any racquet sport is precision, strategy, and adaptability. The soft game, the ability to read your opponent’s positioning, and the mastery of placement over raw strength all come together to create a dynamic and layered experience. It’s not just about who can hit the hardest or fastest; it’s about making smart decisions, controlling the pace, and adjusting to the ever-changing rhythm of the match. Most of all, mental resilience—the ability to reset after a mistake.

Mistakes are unavoidable in every sport. The key isn’t in eliminating them, but in the ability to reset quickly after they happen.

My early days were full of mishits, smashes into the net, and the frustrating habit of trying to speed up every ball. I didn’t understand the idea of point construction. I forced every shot, attempting to win the point with every ball I hit. I certainly didn’t have an inkling about partner strategy or communication.

I was impatient.

But I was determined.

The path from 3.0 to 3.5 wasn’t a straight line. It was a mix of humbling experiences, small victories, and a helluva lot of repetition. Today, I want to share what got me here — and how I’m working to take my game even further.

The Early Struggles: Consistency and Control

In the beginning, consistency was my biggest challenge. I would string together a few good shots only to lose momentum with unforced errors. The mistakes would pile up quickly, and before I knew it, my partner and I would be down by multiple points and counting. I lost count of the shutouts. It didn’t matter how good my partner was. I would always find a way to screw up the point and lose the match for both of us.

It was devastating.

If I wanted to keep playing this game, I needed to get better. So I focused on mastering the soft game — dinks and drop shots — which forced me to slow things down. Drilling these skills was tedious at first, but it gave me more control over rallies. Developing touch and feel transformed how I approached each shot, and it’s what moved me solidly into the 3.5 category.

Lessons That Made the Biggest Difference

Here’s what I believe had the greatest impact on my skill level:

1. Learning Patience & Positioning at the Kitchen Line

Patience in the point doesn’t come naturally. I tried to win from anywhere BUT the kitchen line. Once I committed to winning “at the line“, and softening my play, my consistency improved. I began to see the value of waiting for the right opportunity rather than forcing the point.

2. Footwork, Footwork, Footwork

Good footwork is underrated. I started focusing on my positioning, making sure I was balanced before hitting shots. Moving into the correct spot instead of reaching was a game-changer for both my power and accuracy.

3. Better Court Awareness

Pickleball isn’t just about hitting the ball; it’s about strategy. I worked on recognizing patterns, anticipating my opponents’ moves, and playing smarter rather than harder. It’s amazing how much difference a simple adjustment in placement can make.

4. Embracing Drill Work

I won’t lie — like most players, I enjoy games more than drills. But drilling serves, returns, drops, and dinks gave me the muscle memory I needed to get out of my head and play more confidently. I learned that practice without pressure is essential if you want to improve.

What I’m Working on Now

While I feel confident in my skill level as a 3.5+ player, I’m far from satisfied. Here’s where my focus is as I improve to 4.0+:

• Speed and Reaction Time

At 4.0, points move faster, and players hit harder. I’m working on reacting quicker at the net, especially in fast-paced hand battles. Speed-up and reset drills are a consistent part of my routine now.

• Doubles Strategy

If you’ve ever been matched with an unequally skilled partner (who hasn’t?), you understand partnership strategy can win or lose the match. Communication with a partner is key to winning at this level. I’m studying positioning, court coverage, and shot selection to play smarter doubles.

• Mental Toughness

Pickleball is a mental game as much as a physical one. Staying calm under pressure and staying positive after mistakes are skills I’m actively developing. It’s a work in progress, but it makes a big difference. This is where I see the greatest area for improvement.

The Journey Ahead

Pickleball has been an incredible teacher. It’s shown me how to be patient, how to adapt to things out of my control, think strategically, and keep pushing my limits. As I work toward 4.0, I’m reminded that improvement comes from consistent effort, a willingness to learn, and, of course, a love of the game.

Helpful Resources

• What is Pickleball and How Do You Play?

If you’re curious and want to get started with the game of Pickleball, check out these resources on UpstatePickleball.com.

• What is a Pickleball Skill Rating?

If you play Pickleball but don’t understand the skill rating system, here’s a great guide on how to self-rate your skill level.

• How To Find People To Play With?

If you are an introvert like me and don’t go to the courts with a consistent group of friends, then finding players can be difficult. Check out social media, specifically groups on Facebook. Most local communities use a combination of social media and mobile apps for coordinating play and communication. In my region of the Upstate of South Carolina, we use a Facebook group (currently 9k members and growing) and most parks are on the TeamReach app.

Wherever you are in your pickleball journey, I hope my story reminds you that progress is possible with the right mindset. Be adaptable, stay coachable, and never stop drilling.

Let’s awaken the fire within. ❤️‍🔥

January 21, 2025
The Change Is In The Challenge
There’s a special kind of satisfaction that comes from seeing a project through to the end, especially when it doesn’t go as planned. I recently tackled a home repair DIY project that turned out to be more of an adventure than I’d bargained for. What started as a simple task—replacing a rotten wall panel and some insulation—quickly spiraled into something much bigger:
- Replacing all the insulation
- Re-running electrical wiring
- Removing old newspaper insulation under the window sill
- Spraying foam sealant
- Caulking the outside brick
- Adding nail-stopper plates
- Then finally replacing the wall panel
It was messy, unexpected, and honestly, overwhelming at times. But finishing it felt incredible because the challenge forced me to adapt, learn, and grow.

summer wanted to help but she didn’t know the difference between a pry bar and a wrecking bar. and has no thumbs.

it got messy quickly

the extent of thee water damage

they used newspaper as insulation! 😱

dated Nov. 5, 1970

front page of the newspaper

I’m no electrician but this doesn’t seem right. 🤨

also this…

i could clearly see daylight to the outside! no good!

QUAD to the rescue!

we call it good.

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A post shared by Brent Alexander (@brentalexander)

The Metaphor: Therapy Is Like a DIY Project

Therapy is like a DIY project—messy, unpredictable, and life-changing.

Home repairs, as it turns out, are a perfect metaphor for therapy. Just like peeling back a wall reveals hidden issues, opening yourself up in therapy can expose complexities you didn’t anticipate. What you thought was one “rotten panel” might be layers of unresolved emotions, unexamined beliefs, or buried experiences.

And let’s be honest: that can be terrifying. Not only do you have to confront the work itself, but you also face the uncertainty of what lies beneath. Therapy often means diving into unknown territory—places you’ve never explored.

But here’s the thing: the first time you face those fears is the hardest. Each time after that? It gets a little easier. What once felt impossible starts to feel doable.

The Transformation

Better than before!

That’s the beauty of the work. Therapy takes what feels overwhelming and makes it manageable. Over time, the things you once avoided become things you conquer. They might even become things you enjoy.

And the best part? It’s life-changing. When you look back, you realize how far you’ve come and wonder, “How was I ever afraid of THAT?” The change is in the challenge.

Ready to Start?

If you’re in the Greenville, SC area and looking for a therapist, I can’t recommend Greenville Counseling Associates enough. If you’re elsewhere, Psychology Today and BetterHelp are great places to start your journey.

Because just like that DIY project, you’re capable of more than you know–and the reward is worth the effort.
January 14, 2025
Wicked Part I: Embracing The Magic Within 🪄

The cinematic overture swelled through the theater, its rich, resonant notes vibrating deep within me. As the citizens of Munchkinland rejoicified, “No one mourns the wicked! No one cries they won’t return! No one lays a lily on their grave!”

The words were not just a chant of celebration but a reminder of the loneliness that comes with being misunderstood, of how easily society casts aside those who don’t fit its mold.

And goodness knows, the wicked’s lives are lonely. Goodness knows the wicked die alone. It just shows when you’re wicked, you’re left only… on your own.

Sitting in the theater, I was immediately transported back to when I first encountered the world of Wicked. Jon M. Chu brought the fantastical world to life, imagining it with such vivid detail that it felt as though I was stepping into a realm I had always known.

I’ve experienced Part One of the film adaptation twice now.
I was so captivated the first time that I returned for a rewatch just a week later. It was in the second viewing that I connected with the wistfulness in Elphaba’s eyes, a longing for a world that could never fully accept her, but also a quiet hope that maybe, just maybe, she could find her place in it.

If you’ve ever experienced trauma in your childhood, Elphaba’s journey is something you can relate to in your bones. Her transformation from misunderstood outcast to empowered individual touches on the deepest desires of the heart: acceptance, understanding, and belonging.

It’s one of life’s greatest paradoxes—the world tells us, “Be like us and you will belong,” yet true belonging comes only when we embrace our truest selves, even when the world may not understand, agree with, or accept us.

And not only can this rejection come from the world, but it most often comes from the ones closest to us. Born into a family that couldn’t love her for who she truly was, Elphaba experienced rejection from the very people she entrusted with her love and safety, both physically and emotionally, leaving her to grapple with a profound sense of isolation.

Yet, Elphaba’s journey is not one she walks alone. Her relationship with Glinda, the epitome of everything the world deems “good,” juxtaposes Elphaba’s struggle for acceptance. Despite their contrasting personalities and beliefs, their bond beautifully illustrates the complexities of friendship, rivalry, and understanding.

In many ways, Glinda is a reflection of the world’s acceptance—what Elphaba longs for but cannot attain. And yet, it’s through their connection that Elphaba can find her sense of belonging, even if that belonging doesn’t look like what she imagined.

The evolving relationship between Elphaba and Glinda highlights the transformative power of connection. Their friendship, tested and tempered through trials, reflects the intricate relationships in our own lives, teaching us that true bonds are forged in the fires of adversity when it’s the most difficult to recognize. But it’s only in that very adversity that the work happens if we let it.

Just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Though not from Wicked, this quote beautifully captures the spirit of the journey we witness in the story. It reminds us that sometimes, the most powerful truths are the ones we can’t see—those deep within, shaping our hearts and actions. Much like Elphaba, who is misunderstood and unseen for who she truly is, we all carry invisible forces, driving our growth, choices, and resilience.

Throughout the story, the Wizard’s manipulation tactics expose how power can be used to control and distort the truth. He preys on Elphaba’s insecurities, twisting her perception of herself and her place in the world, all while using charm and deceit to maintain his control. His ability to mask his true intentions behind a facade of benevolence highlights the darker side of authority, where those in power exploit others’ vulnerabilities for personal gain.

This chilling portrayal shows how easily trust can be corrupted, and how true strength lies in seeing through those falsehoods, as Elphaba does when she ultimately takes up the courage to blaze her own path.

“I’m not afraid. It’s the Wizard who should be afraid of me.”

– Elphaba

Fear is a force that can either bind us or empower us, depending on how we choose to face it. It’s a primal emotion that manifests physically, tightening muscles, quickening the heartbeat, and clouding the mind with doubt and hesitation. Fear is quick to paralyze, but it can also be the very thing that drives us to stand up, speak out, and embrace our true power.

Elphaba’s defiance in the face of the Wizard’s control exemplifies this. When she declares, “I’m not afraid. It’s the Wizard who should be afraid of me,” it is a moment of profound transformation. It’s not just a declaration of strength but a recognition of the fear that the Wizard has instilled in her, which she now chooses to turn into her weapon. Fear, once internalized, can be a catalyst for reclaiming autonomy, a shift from victimhood to empowerment.

As the credits rolled, I felt something change with me: a profound sense of gratitude. Wicked: Part One is more than just a film; it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the beauty of embracing one’s unique journey. It reminds us to embrace the magic within, not for wicked means, but for good–a call to defy gravity in our own lives, just as Elphaba does.

December 27, 2024
Don’t Think. Just Do.

Limits are meant to be pushed. Whether it’s speed, fear, or doubt, the barriers in front of us are only as permanent as we allow them to be.

A “top gun” doesn’t back down because the odds are stacked against him—he thrives because he trusts his training, his instincts, and his relentless drive to succeed. That’s a lesson for all of us. You don’t have to wait to feel “ready.” You don’t need to be the best to start. What matters is taking the first step and believing in your ability to rise.

“Don’t think, just do.” Those four words encapsulate what it takes to break through fear and hesitation. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s action in spite of it. Every great achievement begins with someone daring to step into discomfort, to face the unknown.

In life, you can be sure that you will face challenges that test you, voices that doubt you, and moments when quitting feels easier than continuing. But the only way to truly grow is to embrace the process and push through the turbulence.

Your mission isn’t just about skill—it’s about mindset. Trust your instincts. Trust the work you’ve put in. Trust the vision you’re chasing, even if others can’t see it yet. Obstacles will come, but they’re there to refine you, not define you. Keep showing up. Keep giving it everything you’ve got. When you do, you’ll find that limits begin to crumble, and the horizon gets just a little closer.

You don’t have to know exactly how the story ends. What matters is flying your own mission, on your own terms. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about winning—it’s about living boldly, pushing boundaries, and refusing to let fear clip your wings.

The sky was never the limit—it’s just the beginning. All you have to do is take off.

December 14, 2024
Let Me Introduce Myself 😎

I go by Brent. I make and fix the internets. Sometimes successfully. I am a self-proclaimed pickleball addict. I think I’m as cool as Tyson McGuffin but humble myself every time I hit my overhead into the net.

It’s progress. Not perfection. Each day is a journey worth traveling. Life has no rewind button. If you’re living with regret, you’re not living. Choose to be present today. Be who you want to be tomorrow, even when you don’t feel like it today. Adventure awaits. Let’s get after it.

July 9, 2024

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