Last year, I left my full-time agency job. Let’s be honest… it drained me more than it grew me. Without anything lined up, letting go was scary… but necessary. I didn’t know what would fill the space.
Today, that space is filled with things that light me up. I’ve been able to challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. This morning, the challenge was on the pickleball court. And the joy was found in the journey.
It wasn’t easy. It was a grind.
There were some tough losses. Horrendous points.
There was even a moment I lost my cool out of frustration and threw my paddle into the net (I later apologized to my opponent—it was completely uncalled for).
But that’s why you keep fighting.
You don’t let one bad point—or one bad call—dictate the whole game. Or in my case, the whole day.
Sometimes you have to take the L on the chin and come back swinging.
Sometimes… you pickle the next game. 🙂↕️
Today, I found a way to come back and win the bronze medal.
Mental resilience: the ability to stay focused, composed, and confident in facing challenges. And it isn’t just for elite athletes. It’s a skill any level of player can build with intention and practice. Whether you’re grinding through a tough tournament or facing a frustrating rec match, these strategies can help you strengthen your mental game.
1. Train Your Focus Like a Muscle
Mental performance expert Dr. Erik Korem refers to mental fitness as something you build, not something you’re born with. His platform AIM7 emphasizes the importance of adaptive capacity: your ability to handle stress, recover, and remain sharp under pressure.
Just like your third-shot drop, focus requires repetition. Use short, focused drills in your practice to sharpen concentration. For example, set a goal to hit 10 cross-court dinks in a row without error. The moment your mind wanders, you’ll see it in your paddle. Over time, you’ll become more present during critical points in a match.
Try This: Between points, develop a reset ritual—a deep breath, paddle tap, or mantra like “One point at a time”—to stay locked in.
2. Detach From the Outcome
One of the biggest mental traps in pickleball is tying your worth to the score. When you’re winning, you feel great. When you’re losing, self-doubt creeps in.
Instead, shift your focus to controllable factors: effort, attitude, and decision-making. According to Paddletek’s mental training blog, the best players focus on the process, not just the result. Winning becomes a byproduct of consistent execution.
Reframe Your Thoughts:
Instead of “I have to win this match,” try “I’m going to play smart, aggressive pickleball.”
Instead of “I can’t miss this shot,” try “I’m going to trust my swing.”
3. Get Comfortable With Discomfort
A tough opponent, an off-day, or a windy court—these variables are out of your control. What you can control is how you respond.
In his podcast, Erik Korem highlights how embracing small doses of stress in training can expand your capacity to handle it in competition. This aligns with DUPR’s advice: lean into pressure situations. Practice tie-breaker scenarios. Drill while fatigued. Play games where you’re forced to go down 0-4 before the first serve.
Every uncomfortable rep becomes a deposit in your resilience bank.
4. Recover Like an Athlete
A resilient mind is a rested mind. When your nervous system is overloaded, performance drops. That’s why rest, sleep, and active recovery are non-negotiable.
AIM7’s approach to wellness emphasizes personalization: some players need a walk and a podcast, others need a nap. The key is listening to your body and giving your mind the rest it needs to stay sharp.
Bonus Tip: After a tough match, don’t rush into analysis. Take a breath, get some hydration, and give yourself time to reflect without judgment.
5. Build Your Inner Coach
Your self-talk is your secret weapon—or your biggest saboteur. Learn to speak to yourself like a supportive coach, not a harsh critic.
Instead of berating yourself for mistakes, try affirming your intention. “I missed that serve, but I love that I went for it.” This fosters confidence and keeps your emotional energy intact throughout the match.
Over time, you’ll develop a stronger inner voice—one that keeps you grounded, focused, and ready for the next point.
Final Thoughts
You can’t control your opponent. You can’t control the weather. But you can control how you show up mentally.
Mental resilience is what keeps you calm in chaos, focused under pressure, and positive through adversity. It’s a skill that not only elevates your game but enhances your experience of the sport. So next time you step on the pickleball court, remember: strength isn’t just physical–it’s in your mind.
Pickleball has a way of testing you—not just your skills, but your mindset. It rewards patience, resilience, and the ability to adapt under pressure. In February, I put that to the test in a four-week 3.5 Men’s Doubles Ladder League, and let me tell you, it was a ride.
Rising & Sliding Down The Ladder
When I signed up for this league, I knew it was going to push me. I came out strong in the opening week winning almost 90% of possible points. But I slid down the ladder in week 2 only winning two out of four games. Week 3 was even worse, not capitalizing on the points I needed to set myself up for a push for the podium. Heading into the final week, I found myself sitting three places from last. Not exactly where you want to be when medals are on the line.
But that’s the thing about competition—it’s not over until it’s over.
Flipping the Switch
Going into the final week, I knew I had to play differently. Not just better, but smarter. More intentional. This wasn’t about coasting or hoping for a lucky break. If I wanted a shot at medaling, I had to lock in. 🔐
Trust the work. Trust the instincts.
I focused on my footwork, my shot selection, and most importantly, my mental game. Instead of playing not to lose, I played to win. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
And when it mattered most? I swept the field.
Every game. Every rally. Every point. I played with a level of confidence and intensity I hadn’t fully tapped into before. By the end of the day, I went from sitting near the bottom of the rankings to standing on the podium with a silver medal around my neck.
Doug, Gold medalist (on left) alongside Brent, Silver medalist (on right); Not pictured: Steve, Bronze medalist.
The Takeaway: Trust & Adjust
This wasn’t just about winning matches. It was about proving something to myself—that when the pressure is high and the odds are against me, I have another gear. I can adjust. I can fight.
Sure, I’ve had good games before. But this was different. This was a breakthrough.
Shoutouts & What’s Next
Silver medal and the Gearbox Pro Ultimate Elongated pickleball paddle
The fire is lit, and I’m already thinking about the next challenge. More tournaments. More leagues. More chances to level up. I’ve already booked a Spring outdoor ladder league coming up at the end of April.
In pickleball—just like in life—you grind, you come back, and you medal. 🥈
If you feel stuck in a cycle of losing at pickleball—whether in casual games or competitive play—you might think the problem is your technique, fitness, or shot selection. But what if the real reason was something deeper?
Kyle Koszuta (@thatpickleballguy) recently shared a fantastic video that breaks down why many players struggle to win, and it’s not what you’d expect. Instead of just focusing on mechanics, he dives into the mental side of the game—how you think while you play. And honestly? It’s a game-changer.
Here are the key takeaways from his video and how you can apply them to turn those losses into wins.
1. You’re Playing on Autopilot
One of the biggest mistakes players make is falling into predictable patterns. If you keep doing the same things without adjusting, your opponents will figure you out and exploit your weaknesses. Adaptability is key.
Fix It: Start paying attention to what’s working in the moment. If a certain shot isn’t effective, mix it up. If your opponent has a clear pattern, disrupt it. Stay mentally engaged instead of just going through the motions.
2. You’re Emotionally Reactive
Ever get frustrated after missing an easy shot? Or tense up when your opponent goes on a run? That emotional reaction can cloud your judgment and lead to even more mistakes.
Fix It: Accept that mistakes will happen. The best players don’t dwell on errors; they reset and refocus on the next point. Take a deep breath, control what you can, and move forward.
3. You’re Playing “Not to Lose” Instead of Playing to Win
There’s a difference between being careful and being passive. If you’re too afraid of making mistakes, you’ll hesitate, take fewer risks, and let your opponent dictate the game.
Fix It: Trust your shots. Confidence comes from practice, but also from allowing yourself to go for it. If you’re in a winning position, commit to it instead of playing it safe.
4. You’re Stuck in a Fixed Mindset
Some players blame bad luck, the wind, or even their opponent’s “lucky shots” when they lose. But that mindset stops you from growing.
Fix It: Instead of making excuses, ask yourself: What can I learn from this match? Losing isn’t failure—it’s feedback. Every game is an opportunity to improve if you stay coachable.
5. You’re Focusing on the Wrong Opponent
The biggest battle isn’t against the person on the other side of the net—it’s the one inside your head. Your thoughts, emotions, and reactions have more impact on your performance than anything your opponent does.
Fix It: Win your mind, and the game will follow. Work on your mental resilience just as much as your physical skills. Stay present, stay adaptable, and don’t let one mistake define the next point.
Final Thoughts
If you’re serious about improving at pickleball, take a step back and evaluate how you think during a match. Adaptability, emotional control, confidence, and a growth mindset are just as important as any dink or drive.
Huge credit to Kyle Koszuta (@thatpickleballguy) for these insights—his video really gets you thinking about how you think on the court. If you haven’t watched it yet, check it out here: Watch the Video.
When I first picked up a pickleball paddle in 2021, all I knew about it came from friends and the internet. Back in 2021, the sport didn’t have the country in the chokehold it does today. Despite its historically low profile, all of the stereotypes rang true in my mind: Isn’t that a silly game for retired geriatrics? It’s not an athletic sport! And it certainly wouldn’t be any fun… right? Right?
The Rising Popularity of Pickleball and The Evolution of the Game
Boy, was I wrong. And I certainly didn’t expect it to hook me the way it did. The sport has changed dramatically since its rise in popularity just in a few short years. Today the sport is played by a greater variety of demographics; it’s faster, more competitive, and more exciting than ever.
This is partly due to improved paddle and ball technology, but it’s also an inevitable adaptation of athletic playing style and the human pursuit of peak performance: Faster + Stronger = Better!
Mental Resilience Reigns Supreme
But accomplishment on the court is not dominated by speed and power. It’s much more dimensional than that. At its core, pickleball is a game of nuance and variety. The heart of any racquet sport is precision, strategy, and adaptability. The soft game, the ability to read your opponent’s positioning, and the mastery of placement over raw strength all come together to create a dynamic and layered experience. It’s not just about who can hit the hardest or fastest; it’s about making smart decisions, controlling the pace, and adjusting to the ever-changing rhythm of the match. Most of all, mental resilience—the ability to reset after a mistake.
Mistakes are unavoidable in every sport. The key isn’t in eliminating them, but in the ability to reset quickly after they happen.
My early days were full of mishits, smashes into the net, and the frustrating habit of trying to speed up every ball. I didn’t understand the idea of point construction. I forced every shot, attempting to win the point with every ball I hit. I certainly didn’t have an inkling about partner strategy or communication.
I was impatient.
But I was determined.
The path from 3.0 to 3.5 wasn’t a straight line. It was a mix of humbling experiences, small victories, and a helluva lot of repetition. Today, I want to share what got me here — and how I’m working to take my game even further.
The Early Struggles: Consistency and Control
In the beginning, consistency was my biggest challenge. I would string together a few good shots only to lose momentum with unforced errors. The mistakes would pile up quickly, and before I knew it, my partner and I would be down by multiple points and counting. I lost count of the shutouts. It didn’t matter how good my partner was. I would always find a way to screw up the point and lose the match for both of us.
It was devastating.
If I wanted to keep playing this game, I needed to get better. So I focused on mastering the soft game — dinks and drop shots — which forced me to slow things down. Drilling these skills was tedious at first, but it gave me more control over rallies. Developing touch and feel transformed how I approached each shot, and it’s what moved me solidly into the 3.5 category.
Lessons That Made the Biggest Difference
Here’s what I believe had the greatest impact on my skill level:
1. Learning Patience & Positioning at the Kitchen Line
Patience in the point doesn’t come naturally. I tried to win from anywhere BUT the kitchen line. Once I committed to winning “at the line“, and softening my play, my consistency improved. I began to see the value of waiting for the right opportunity rather than forcing the point.
2. Footwork, Footwork, Footwork
Good footwork is underrated. I started focusing on my positioning, making sure I was balanced before hitting shots. Moving into the correct spot instead of reaching was a game-changer for both my power and accuracy.
3. Better Court Awareness
Pickleball isn’t just about hitting the ball; it’s about strategy. I worked on recognizing patterns, anticipating my opponents’ moves, and playing smarter rather than harder. It’s amazing how much difference a simple adjustment in placement can make.
4. Embracing Drill Work
I won’t lie — like most players, I enjoy games more than drills. But drilling serves, returns, drops, and dinks gave me the muscle memory I needed to get out of my head and play more confidently. I learned that practice without pressure is essential if you want to improve.
What I’m Working on Now
While I feel confident in my skill level as a 3.5+ player, I’m far from satisfied. Here’s where my focus is as I improve to 4.0+:
• Speed and Reaction Time
At 4.0, points move faster, and players hit harder. I’m working on reacting quicker at the net, especially in fast-paced hand battles. Speed-up and reset drills are a consistent part of my routine now.
• Doubles Strategy
If you’ve ever been matched with an unequally skilled partner (who hasn’t?), you understand partnership strategy can win or lose the match. Communication with a partner is key to winning at this level. I’m studying positioning, court coverage, and shot selection to play smarter doubles.
• Mental Toughness
Pickleball is a mental game as much as a physical one. Staying calm under pressure and staying positive after mistakes are skills I’m actively developing. It’s a work in progress, but it makes a big difference. This is where I see the greatest area for improvement.
The Journey Ahead
Pickleball has been an incredible teacher. It’s shown me how to be patient, how to adapt to things out of my control, think strategically, and keep pushing my limits. As I work toward 4.0, I’m reminded that improvement comes from consistent effort, a willingness to learn, and, of course, a love of the game.
If you are an introvert like me and don’t go to the courts with a consistent group of friends, then finding players can be difficult. Check out social media, specifically groups on Facebook. Most local communities use a combination of social media and mobile apps for coordinating play and communication. In my region of the Upstate of South Carolina, we use a Facebook group (currently 9k members and growing) and most parks are on the TeamReach app.
Wherever you are in your pickleball journey, I hope my story reminds you that progress is possible with the right mindset. Be adaptable, stay coachable, and never stop drilling.
Love the feel!!!
