Brent Alexander

serving up perspective //

smashing the doubt

Author: Brent

Exploring Connection and Vulnerability: Brené Brown – Atlas of the Heart

In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown takes us on a transformative journey into the complex world of human emotions and experiences. This book serves as both a guide and a map, offering readers a fresh perspective on how to navigate life’s most pivotal emotional landscapes.

What Atlas of the Heart Is About

The book categorizes and explores 87 emotions and experiences, providing research-based insights to help readers understand what we feel, why we feel it, and how to communicate these emotions with clarity and empathy. Brown, known for her groundbreaking work on vulnerability, courage, and shame, delivers this resource with her signature mix of storytelling, research, and humor.

Through vivid metaphors, real-life examples, and reflective questions, Brown empowers us to recognize emotions that often go unnamed. She emphasizes that our ability to articulate feelings isn’t just a soft skill but a critical component of connection, both with ourselves and others.

Themes That Stood Out to Me

1. Naming Emotions Is a Form of Power

One of Brown’s most profound insights is that expanding our emotional vocabulary enables greater emotional resilience. In her research, she discovered that most people can only name three emotions: happy, sad, and angry. Atlas of the Heart invites us to explore the complexity beyond these basics. Words like anguish, awe, and nostalgia take on new significance, as Brown provides not only definitions but the contexts in which these feelings arise.

For me, this reframing felt like a revelation. Learning to name my emotions more precisely has already influenced how I approach difficult conversations, both personally and professionally. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I find myself better equipped to express what I’m truly experiencing.

2. Connection Requires Emotional Literacy

Brown’s work reinforces that connection is rooted in understanding ourselves and communicating that understanding to others. Atlas of the Heart bridges the gap between feeling and expressing. It also challenges the idea that being vulnerable is a weakness. Rather, vulnerability is what makes courage possible. The book offers practical language to express vulnerability in ways that foster trust, respect, and connection.

How Atlas of the Heart Relates to Pickleball and Athletic Performance

As I read, I couldn’t help but think of the parallels between emotional intelligence and athletic performance, especially in pickleball. In a sport where split-second decisions and mental toughness are key, understanding and regulating emotions is vital. Whether it’s managing the frustration of a tough loss or the anxiety of a high-stakes tournament, emotional literacy can change the game—literally and figuratively.

Mastering the game is as much about mindset as mechanics, and the lessons from Atlas of the Heart remind me that effective play requires empathy and clarity. Naming and working through emotions can unlock breakthroughs in performance, confidence, and joy on the court.

Takeaways and Recommendations

Atlas of the Heart is an essential read for anyone seeking deeper self-awareness and more meaningful relationships. Brown’s research-backed insights are practical and profound, making this book an invaluable resource for coaches, leaders, and anyone committed to personal growth.

If you’re looking to explore emotional complexity in a digestible, actionable way, Atlas of the Heart belongs on your shelf. The insights you’ll gain about yourself and others are as transformative as they are affirming.

February 25, 2025
Why You Keep Losing In Pickleball–And How To Fix It

If you feel stuck in a cycle of losing at pickleball—whether in casual games or competitive play—you might think the problem is your technique, fitness, or shot selection. But what if the real reason was something deeper?

Kyle Koszuta (@thatpickleballguy) recently shared a fantastic video that breaks down why many players struggle to win, and it’s not what you’d expect. Instead of just focusing on mechanics, he dives into the mental side of the game—how you think while you play. And honestly? It’s a game-changer.

Here are the key takeaways from his video and how you can apply them to turn those losses into wins.

1. You’re Playing on Autopilot

One of the biggest mistakes players make is falling into predictable patterns. If you keep doing the same things without adjusting, your opponents will figure you out and exploit your weaknesses. Adaptability is key.

Fix It: Start paying attention to what’s working in the moment. If a certain shot isn’t effective, mix it up. If your opponent has a clear pattern, disrupt it. Stay mentally engaged instead of just going through the motions.

2. You’re Emotionally Reactive

Ever get frustrated after missing an easy shot? Or tense up when your opponent goes on a run? That emotional reaction can cloud your judgment and lead to even more mistakes.

Fix It: Accept that mistakes will happen. The best players don’t dwell on errors; they reset and refocus on the next point. Take a deep breath, control what you can, and move forward.

3. You’re Playing “Not to Lose” Instead of Playing to Win

There’s a difference between being careful and being passive. If you’re too afraid of making mistakes, you’ll hesitate, take fewer risks, and let your opponent dictate the game.

Fix It: Trust your shots. Confidence comes from practice, but also from allowing yourself to go for it. If you’re in a winning position, commit to it instead of playing it safe.

4. You’re Stuck in a Fixed Mindset

Some players blame bad luck, the wind, or even their opponent’s “lucky shots” when they lose. But that mindset stops you from growing.

Fix It: Instead of making excuses, ask yourself: What can I learn from this match? Losing isn’t failure—it’s feedback. Every game is an opportunity to improve if you stay coachable.

5. You’re Focusing on the Wrong Opponent

The biggest battle isn’t against the person on the other side of the net—it’s the one inside your head. Your thoughts, emotions, and reactions have more impact on your performance than anything your opponent does.

Fix It: Win your mind, and the game will follow. Work on your mental resilience just as much as your physical skills. Stay present, stay adaptable, and don’t let one mistake define the next point.

Final Thoughts

If you’re serious about improving at pickleball, take a step back and evaluate how you think during a match. Adaptability, emotional control, confidence, and a growth mindset are just as important as any dink or drive.

Huge credit to Kyle Koszuta (@thatpickleballguy) for these insights—his video really gets you thinking about how you think on the court. If you haven’t watched it yet, check it out here: Watch the Video.

Stay coachable, friends!

February 14, 2025
My First-Ever 10-Miler

I’ve officially checked off my first-ever 10-mile race, and I couldn’t be more thrilled with how it went! 🎉 This was a race full of new challenges, from the course itself to my personal goals. And yes, it’s a new personal record (PR) for me! 🔔

Race Stats:

⏱️ Time: 1:45:27

🏃‍♂️ Pace: 10:33 per mile

The Course: Hills on Hills on Hills ⛰️

The Green Valley Road Race certainly lived up to its reputation as a challenging course. The entire route felt like one big hill after another, which I have to admit, made me nervous at first. I even drove the course the day before to get a preview—and let’s just say, I might’ve freaked myself out a little bit seeing all those inclines. 😳 But honestly, it helped me prepare mentally and gave me a chance to appreciate the beautiful new scenery on race day. This is a course I would gladly run again!

Race Day Weather Perfection 🌅

The weather on race day couldn’t have been better for running: a crisp 42° at the start with sunny skies, warming up to just over 50° by the finish. This perfect temperature meant I could focus entirely on my running without being distracted by discomfort from either heat or cold.

Focusing on Cadence Over Pace 🥁

As I’ve been learning more about my running form, I decided to focus on improving my cadence rather than pushing for a specific pace. This was a shift in strategy for me, and I’m happy to say it paid off! I was able to maintain a much higher cadence of 163 steps per minute (spm) during the race. Just a few weeks ago, I was struggling to hit 150 spm, which I now realize was mainly due to poor form and over-striding.

To work on that, I decided to play some faster-paced tunes to help me find a rhythm. Shortening my stride and leaning into each step felt so much smoother. My knees were grateful for the change in mechanics—though I can’t lie and say I had no knee pain at all. My runner’s knee from last week was still a bit sore, but it was manageable, and I was able to push through the race without a problem.

Post-Race Recovery: Cold Plunge Magic 🥶

After crossing the finish line, I made sure to take recovery seriously. I treated myself to a quick 3-minute cold plunge in 45° water, and let me tell you: that water was pure magic! 🧊 It was exactly what my body needed to reduce inflammation and soreness, and I felt pretty good afterward—almost like I hadn’t just completed a tough race.

What’s Next: Rest and Recovery

Now, it’s time to rest, recover, and prepare for the next challenge ahead. I’ve got a huge workload this month as I get ready for my upcoming half marathon in March, but I’m feeling motivated and excited to keep pushing forward. It’s all part of the journey!

Thanks for following along, and I’ll keep you updated on my training. Until then, I’ll be focusing on continuing to push my limits and improving with each step. 🏃‍♂️✨

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A post shared by Brent Alexander (@brentalexander)

February 7, 2025
100 Miles For Cancer

A Challenge For A Cause

In February, I’ve decided to run 100 miles—not just for myself, but for something much bigger. As I ramp up my mileage in preparation for my upcoming half marathon on March 1st, I’m partnering with the American Cancer Society in a virtual challenge to support those fighting cancer.

I’m running 100 miles for cancer, and I’d like to share why this means so much to me and why I hope you’ll join me in supporting the cause.

A Journey Beyond the Miles

Running has always been a personal challenge—an opportunity for growth, self-discipline, and pushing through physical and mental boundaries. But in February, my miles will carry a deeper purpose. As I run each step, I will do it in honor of those who have battled and lost, those who are still fighting, and those who have fought and won. This challenge is about more than just endurance—it’s about remembering loved ones and supporting those in the fight against cancer right now.

While my half marathon on March 1st unfortunately won’t count towards my 100-mile challenge (it ends February 28th), it still represents the physical and emotional effort that this month is all about. Every mile run will be for them—those whose strength and courage inspire me to keep pushing, especially when it gets tough.

Honoring the Fighters, Remembering the Lost

Cancer has impacted nearly every one of us in some way. Whether it’s a loved one who has faced the disease, a friend or family member who is still fighting, or someone we’ve lost too soon, the emotional weight of cancer is undeniable. I’ve seen firsthand how cancer takes its toll, but I’ve also witnessed the incredible resilience of those who fight it with all they have.

This month, I’m running for everyone who has battled cancer and for the families who have supported them. Whether you’ve lost someone to this disease, or you know someone currently in the fight, I hope you’ll take a moment to reflect on those warriors and their strength.

Why 100 Miles?

Running 100 miles in one month is no small feat. But I’ve chosen this challenge because it symbolizes the perseverance and determination needed to overcome cancer. Each mile represents a step toward raising awareness, offering support, and raising funds for critical research that continues to push us closer to a cure.

I believe in the power of community, and that’s why I’m asking for your support. Every donation to my JustGiving page goes toward cancer research and support for those who need it most. Together, we can make a tangible difference.

How You Can Help

I’d be honored if you could join me in this journey in any way you can, whether you donate, share this post, or simply offer words of encouragement as I take on this challenge.

You can follow my progress and contribute to the cause on my fundraising page: Brent Runs for Cancer. Every donation, no matter how small, helps fund cancer research and support services that improve the lives of those fighting this disease.

Thank you for being part of this journey. With your help, we can make these miles count.

Support The Cause

The miles I run this February will be a physical challenge, but the emotional drive behind them is what will keep me going. This is my way of honoring those who have battled cancer, remembering those we’ve lost, and supporting those who are still fighting with every step.

Let’s lace up and run this race together.

January 31, 2025
A Step On The Ladder: A Win Worth Building On

I laced up my shoes before the sun came up and headed downtown for a race I’d been preparing for but wasn’t obsessing over. It wasn’t the big one circled on my calendar — just another step in my half-marathon training plan. I’ve done plenty of 5Ks before, so I felt calm and confident, ready for the test ahead.

The cool air was alive with the energy of other runners, all with their own reasons for showing up. Some were chasing medals, others chasing fitness. For me, it was simple: I came to get better. I came to run fast. A light rain had started to fall, adding a sharp edge to the cold morning. It soaked the pavement and clung to my clothes, but it didn’t matter. Rain, cold, or discomfort — they were just part of the challenge.

When the race started, the rhythm came easy. One step, then another. Downtown Greenville blurred around me, the familiar streets transformed by the pounding of feet and the cheer of onlookers. I wasn’t thinking about the finish line, not yet. I focused on breathing, pace, and staying steady.

Midway through, that familiar tug of doubt crept in. My legs ached. I glanced at my watch and noticed how far ahead of pace I was. My mind whispered that slowing down was fine, that I’d already done enough. But here’s the thing about training for anything worth doing — you learn to quiet the voices that beg for comfort. I kept going.

When I crossed the finish line, I looked at my watch: 28:38. A new personal record.

It felt good. Better than good.

But not because of the number itself — I know a PR isn’t the goal. It’s a rung on a much taller ladder. The real prize is still 32 days away, on a longer course, with a bigger test waiting.

32 days.

32 chances to show up.

32 opportunities to grind.

Every training run, every mile logged, is a step closer to the race that matters. The lesson I took from my last race is simple but powerful: Progress doesn’t come from chasing perfection; it comes from relentless persistence.

I’ve got 32 days to embrace the work. To rise before the sun. To push my limits.

I proved I’m stronger than I was before. And next time, I’ll be stronger still.

The work continues...

January 28, 2025

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